2 jobs and i am going for another one @ macy's this 11th don't know if i can handle it but it's worth a try right =) anyways today i was supposed to go to grossmont fill out the finachial aid shit but i don't have time way to fucking busy anyways i want to do it tommorow but i work from early in the morning and then i have orientation @ 6 which lasts till 9 so i won't have time tommorow i think there open on saturday if not i will go on monday it's important that i do this i think i will take samantha with me because she needs to fill out her apps to i would do it online if i had a computer but i don't and i also need my tax information and my mothers god not this again anyways blah it's worth it!!
luv joseph
when your supposed best friend attacks you because he can not take the blame for his own actions is a sad day
another year comes to an end...this one starting off to a very shity way then ending and starting in a new and fabolust way, in a way i accomplished more than i thought i would did more than i give myself credit for. i can't believe i am going to be 21 i am so old!! anyways..i feel great life is awsome. things have been going really great. also this guy hit on me on the trolley we i think he did not quite sure you know me i am a pussy when a cute guy talks to me i know i am so fucking lame anyways he's so not my type he's blonde hair blue eyes and not asian!! he's tall white guy, but the funny thing is i think he is only 18 years old. which is totattly wrong for me beucase i don't want to be liek my ex's well atleast he's not 17 well atleast i hope not he introduced him self to me i want to go see him at his work but i am not quite sure in short alot of great things happen this yea ri met alot of great people this year to. so in all i really love it even if it was a semi shity year!! just one thing i am thankful for is being alive.
luv joseph
another year comes to an end...this one starting off to a very shity way then ending and starting in a new and fabolust way, in a way i accomplished more than i thought i would did more than i give myself credit for. i can't believe i am going to be 21 i am so old!! anyways..i feel great life is awsome. things have been going really great. also this guy hit on me on the trolley we i think he did not quite sure you know me i am a pussy when a cute guy talks to me i know i am so fucking lame anyways he's so not my type he's blonde hair blue eyes and not asian!! he's tall white guy, but the funny thing is i think he is only 18 years old. which is totattly wrong for me beucase i don't want to be liek my ex's well atleast he's not 17 well atleast i hope not he introduced him self to me i want to go see him at his work but i am not quite sure in short alot of great things happen this yea ri met alot of great people this year to. so in all i really love it even if it was a semi shity year!! just one thing i am thankful for is being alive.
luv joseph
another year comes to an end...this one starting off to a very shity way then ending and starting in a new and fabolust way, in a way i accomplished more than i thought i would did more than i give myself credit for. i can't believe i am going to be 21 i am so old!! anyways..i feel great life is awsome. things have been going really great. also this guy hit on me on the trolley we i think he did not quite sure you know me i am a pussy when a cute guy talks to me i know i am so fucking lame anyways he's so not my type he's blonde hair blue eyes and not asian!! he's tall white guy, but the funny thing is i think he is only 18 years old. which is totattly wrong for me beucase i don't want to be liek my ex's well atleast he's not 17 well atleast i hope not he introduced him self to me i want to go see him at his work but i am not quite sure in short alot of great things happen this yea ri met alot of great people this year to. so in all i really love it even if it was a semi shity year!! just one thing i am thankful for is being alive.
luv joseph
i got the job @ bath and body don't know about best buy i will call tommorow to see what's up...next....
the days just keep getting worse, ivan is just pissing me off and so is vyrna they think i am jealous of them ok, w/e blah blah had to fire me. which is understandable it's her job. not mad at you blah, and my roomate kicked me out and i have to be out by the end of the month....lovely day for me just perfect what next i have some diesease to top it off. and i am going to die in 1 week
my life has been really busy, lately i am hanging out with vyrna
alot more before she goes to hawai i am going to miss her. i've
been thinkng lately about going into a realtionship but in a way i
don't want to. i will have to admit it would be nice to have someone
but i think i would want them for all the wrong reasons. so i will not
let myself become like everyone else in soceity...btw who in the fuck
started marriage who was like ok let's get married.??? who in the hell
is that bastard that convience millons and millions of people that you
have to be with someone else! and if your not ti's wrong and
there is something wrong with you! i am tired of these kids yes kids!!
telling me oh you need someone you can't live with out someone etc blah
shit. it angers me because it's like our society thinks backwards
what's wrong with me saying i am good being single i love it and i am
happy, they think it's impossible? shouldn't they be the ones like
saying oh wait what's wrong with me? hello kids! when did it become ok
to be dependent on others? and that your whole worth is who your with?
do you understnd how backwards that is. grrr.... another thing lately
is people's eating habbits they eat horrible. and the thing that
bothers me with that is they bother me because there like eat fat food
eat junk food...well news flash!! it's bad for you if you didn't notice
it's like some where in society my generation became lke the idiots or
maybe the whole damm world is like this god...don't you understand sure
it dosent' affect you know but it will in teh future. no one thinks
about that they only live in the momment or for today...which is good.
but you still have a future to live and i want to be healthy...i don''t
want diabetes heart disesase, high cholestroal like my family has, and
there is a way to avoid it. and i am doing it. no one checks the back
of labels it pisses me off when i do and people omg joseph what look @
you. then i look @ them and i see a spare tire around there stomache.
they always tell me, oh your skinny don't worry about it well bitches
how the fuck do you think i got like this!! new flash!!! i don't have a
natural matabolism like some lucky bitches where i can't eat every and
anything. and that's another thing those people piss me off to not
because there skinny because they don't think the junk food affects
them sure they look fine all skinny healthy on the outside but if they
only know what there are doing to the there bodies on the inside no one
cares that's why they do drugs, and smoke, and eat fat food... sigh i
know i am venting
i see all these guys and there all pretty that's not me, i don't dress as nice as them or have as many gay friends as they do. and i guess it makes me kind of sad...i don't stand a chance with any of those type of guys but that's not what i want to be, i just want nice good friends..but those seem hard to come by these days(gay friends) i have great straight friends or bi, lesbos, i love you guys, but just ot get back to my point i am not like them...but why do i want to be,
this image burned in my mind,
the same on that burns me,
if i look only @ the smile,
i miss the complete story,
the picture isnt perfect,
as they would want it to be,
that image played in my mind,
the same one that hurts me,
but why do i want that,
i won't be perfect,
i can't be what they want me to be.
if you asked me, i would replace it,
if you said it was not true, would you face it,
i will put my hand out for you,
and you will take it this time.
with this now you me and we,
there is nothing we can't do,
if you asked me, i am going to face it,
if you asked me, somethings can be changed.
we all want happiness,
but some suffereing must come from it,
what isn't what you thought,
isn't a misery for a complete soul.
when i said i was happy,
you should that it's true,
and nothing can be a replacement for myself.
i thought that would describe how i feel about a ceartain someone...lol,
anyhoo what i came on here to write,
with a scream in the night, you awoke to it,
you came to my every aid, but then went away,
i was only a child then, but you paved the way,
the bricks have been laid, for us to play,
all of my mistakes, are the ones you made,
i watched but still did not learn, untill that day,
when he took your turn, he finished what you started,
through my mothers eyes i should have learned,
just as she did, i fell and burned.
