since MJ's death everyone all of the sudden is a fan because it's cool. umm also, rich woman digging through trash... eating food.
one of the topics i wanna talk about is, the division in the gay community between gays and lesbians, then disgusting guys who think they can put their hands all over to you, to ones who stop and harass you. to the decline of my gayborhood and how it's becoming really ghetto. also i wanna talk aboug gender roles of gays, and different levels of gays and to the whole machismo shit with mexicans to closted fucks.. anymore topics i should hit up on?
speaking to a friend who is faceing danger every single day of his life today made my little petty gay drama feel so insignificant which it truely is... my heart goes out to him and i hope and wish for a safe return for him. i am gonna start writing him letters via snail mail.. give him something to look forward to i am not sure if anyone else he knows is doing it, but you know i thought, the thought or receiving something unexpected would really be nice =) i kinda feel like a military girlfriend waiting at home lol. awaiting his arrival and dreading if i were to ever get notice that yea lol. anyways blah so i thought carrie underwood's single "just a dream" would be very appropriate for this situation. i have different songs that fit different situations of my life. if you guys didn't know or couldn't figure out.. my friend is off in Afghanistan =(, what upsets me though is the fact he's fighting a good fight but for people who are undeserving in a way. fighting for a country who hates gays... a government that perpetuates that hatred by not allowing gays to not openly server in our military =(. and that really upsets me. you always see these breeder videos about how war affects them but, do they know how many of my gay brethren have died and are over there right now dieing/fighting for quote un quote "us" hmmm and sigh all i know is raul i await your safe return there isnt' a day i am not worried about your condition and can't wait to see you again.
[3:40:16 AM] Winston Manuel: you there?
[4:48:51 AM] Jae: all the things i was hearing from people didn't help and then when i spoke to you that one night on vent your attitude towards those people didn't help either and then hearing billy not complain what was happening to other people set me off
[4:49:33 AM] Jae: billy would always complain about how he felt left out and then all of the sudden when it wasn't happening to him he was alirght with it.
[4:49:34 AM] Winston Manuel: well my attitude has always been that way
[4:49:47 AM] Winston Manuel: its not hard to gear yourself out
[4:49:57 AM] Winston Manuel: if you dont do it youself and expect ohter people to do it for you
[4:49:57 AM] Jae: because your a tank/healer
[4:50:10 AM] Jae: alot of the guildies in RS are new...to the game. they rolled dps
[4:50:14 AM] Winston Manuel: and if you dont ask for help and bitch when no one does
[4:50:17 AM] Winston Manuel: its not my fault either
[4:50:21 AM] Winston Manuel: this is whats happening
[4:50:21 AM] Jae: they do ask for help
[4:50:37 AM] Jae: and you know who usually helps them?
[4:50:39 AM] Jae: <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<me
[4:50:49 AM] Jae: becuase no one in RS will help them because what are you guys doing
[4:50:51 AM] Jae: raiding
[4:50:55 AM] Winston Manuel: I've done instances with alot people
[4:50:57 AM] Winston Manuel: dailies
[4:51:02 AM] Winston Manuel: I ask people if they wanna come
[4:51:07 AM] Winston Manuel: I dont always get reply
[4:51:18 AM] Winston Manuel: but if I do I take them regardless if there new or there dps isent enough
[4:51:21 AM] Winston Manuel: heroics I could care less
[4:51:22 AM] Winston Manuel: you know that
[4:51:38 AM] Winston Manuel: for big raids if you dont come prepared its not my fault
[4:51:44 AM] Winston Manuel: its your cahr I'm not going to play it for you
[4:52:12 AM] Jae: yea but you forget how much help you had from gulidies getting your self up that latter
[4:52:31 AM] Jae: you weren't alone when you first hit 80 you had other freshly 80's with a solid heroic gorup
[4:52:37 AM] Jae: some of the guildes don't have that.
[4:53:19 AM] Jae: and granted your not responseable for them..and their char. but come one would it hurt to help them out and have them come a long. would it be so bad to not only think about your self
[4:53:39 AM] Jae: this is a MMO you play with other people you help other people the point of the game is working with other people
[4:53:41 AM] Winston Manuel: ...
[4:54:08 AM] Winston Manuel: you agreed that people who just hit 80 that they shouldent expect to raid
[4:54:08 AM] Jae: how do you get things accomplished doing things with other people why not receproicate the same help.
[4:54:19 AM] Winston Manuel: and demand to go
[4:54:28 AM] Winston Manuel: and when I started out
[4:54:31 AM] Winston Manuel: I didnt have a set group
[4:54:34 AM] Winston Manuel: its the same as it is now
[4:54:49 AM] Winston Manuel: I pugged naxx nax 25 uldar 10 and 25 fl
[4:54:53 AM] Winston Manuel: voa os
[4:55:00 AM] Winston Manuel: I did those on my own
[4:55:06 AM] Winston Manuel: I had to suffer through pugs
[4:55:18 AM] Jae: so why would you want other gulidies to suffer?
[4:55:30 AM] Jae: if were all decenlty geared beyond them why not run 10 man naxx for them
[4:55:38 AM] Winston Manuel: heroics is not suffering jae
[4:55:56 AM] Winston Manuel: dealing with 9-24 other people thats suffering
[4:55:57 AM] Jae: i am talking about puging raids
[4:56:16 AM] Winston Manuel: you dont have to pug raids if you just do freaking heroics to get the gear you need to go
[4:56:30 AM] Winston Manuel: with conquest badges
[4:56:31 AM] Winston Manuel: its not hard
[4:56:34 AM] Jae: but how are they gonna do that if no one helps them
[4:56:41 AM] Jae: there is shit tanks on coil fang
[4:56:47 AM] Winston Manuel: and the stuff from heroics 200raitng you can get that
[4:56:49 AM] Winston Manuel: and it would be good enough
[4:56:49 AM] Jae: there are shit healers on coil fang
[4:56:58 AM] Winston Manuel: I told momo he could come voa
[4:56:59 AM] Jae: you know how long it takes to get a healer
[4:57:01 AM] Jae: or a tank in LFG?
[4:57:07 AM] Winston Manuel: I asked him how his dps was
[4:57:13 AM] Winston Manuel: he told me random numbers
[4:57:16 AM] Jae: hours! if your even lucky
[4:57:25 AM] Winston Manuel: I told him I would try him out to get a benchmark of what he could do
[4:57:29 AM] Winston Manuel: it it dosent work out
[4:57:40 AM] Winston Manuel: I as a raid leader have to fix it so it will
[4:57:52 AM] Winston Manuel: I helped momo enchant all his gear out
[4:57:55 AM] Jae: are you getting my comments?
[4:58:01 AM] Winston Manuel: so dont say I didnt fking help him
[4:58:10 AM] Winston Manuel: and dont say I didnt give him a chance to come
[4:58:19 AM] Winston Manuel: before he went emo on me and left
[4:58:26 AM] Winston Manuel: dont get me wrong I worked things out with him
[4:58:40 AM] Winston Manuel: but you still seem to see these raids
[4:59:05 AM] Winston Manuel: as something that I bring people who cant do it to get people geared up that way
[4:59:10 AM] Winston Manuel: if its fails people get pissy at me
[5:00:31 AM] Jae: are you having connection problems
[5:02:00 AM] Jae: you know what
[5:02:39 AM] Jae: i am sorry... maybe you put your self in the position to get this ridicule from people but god dammit it just makes me dissapointed with zeph
[5:02:49 AM] Jae: where the fuck is he? why are you getting the gulid leader drama!
[5:03:40 AM] Jae: i agree with you about not being responsablie for other people's char's but i just don't understand why you wouldn't want to extend the helping hand
[5:04:09 AM] Jae: it's like your demanor or your position on it it's like your almost feel botherd by people when they ask for help
[5:04:20 AM] Jae: and as for mo mo i know how sensitive he can be..
[5:09:09 AM] Winston Manuel: ?
[5:09:11 AM] Winston Manuel: can you see this?
[5:09:15 AM] Jae: yes
[5:09:36 AM] Winston Manuel: jae if you knew how much fking work I put into my druid
[5:09:51 AM] Winston Manuel: you would be not so inclined to run heroics over and over again
[5:10:07 AM] Winston Manuel: 2 sets tottally 270 badges
[5:10:15 AM] Winston Manuel: and another 270 for pvp gear
[5:10:22 AM] Winston Manuel: how many bosses did I down
[5:10:36 AM] Jae: you think i haven't put the same ammount of time into my paladin or my alts
[5:10:47 AM] Jae: i still help people out because i enjoy it.
[5:11:08 AM] Jae: you know my guild defenseless old ladies i ran so many heroics with them even though my paladin didn't need anything from it
[5:11:18 AM] Winston Manuel: I dont enjoy doing heroics anymore unless its the daily
[5:11:30 AM] Winston Manuel: or someone asks me via whisper to help
[5:11:31 AM] Jae: i ran reg toc 20 times a day to gear them out to have them do their first nax guild raid
[5:11:54 AM] Jae: i ran nax with them even though i don't need anything from 10 man nax
[5:12:01 AM] Jae: and i fucking hate nax
[5:12:28 AM] Jae: so don't give me this if you only knew how much times i did something or how much time i put into my char, honey because you forget i ddin't have a life
[5:12:36 AM] Jae: so all my life went into that slut
[5:12:37 AM] Jae: lol
[5:14:04 AM] Winston Manuel: not sure if you get it but I'm not going to actively put together groups anymore to do heroics
[5:14:13 AM] Winston Manuel: because theres no point for this character anymore
[5:14:25 AM] Jae: no i understand that completely
[5:14:27 AM] Winston Manuel: I will help out if you need tank or heals and you whisper me
[5:14:41 AM] Winston Manuel: but if you put that out in guild I have a choice if I wanna go or not
[5:14:57 AM] Jae: yea that's why i said people get ignored in guild chat
[5:15:11 AM] Jae: the only time someone speaks is to link their loot or to gloat about something
[5:15:27 AM] Jae: but oh how most of you guys are quiet when someone asks for help
[5:15:46 AM] Winston Manuel: if its a question I can answear I do it
[5:15:55 AM] Winston Manuel: if its me running a heroic group
[5:16:14 AM] Winston Manuel: I'm telling you I'm burt out from all the shit I do
[5:16:26 AM] Winston Manuel: raids on tues wed friday and sunday
[5:16:41 AM] Winston Manuel: I barely have time to do things for myself
[5:16:59 AM] Winston Manuel: heroics back then I didnt just run it for myself
[5:17:04 AM] Winston Manuel: I did it for other people
[5:17:08 AM] Jae: then maybe you need a break from wow..
[5:17:22 AM] Winston Manuel: especially to get my emblems for my pvp set
[5:17:37 AM] Winston Manuel: it benifits me maybe a little but I think of other people more
[5:17:55 AM] Winston Manuel: and I said I dont need this shit and I'm going to post what I said to you in your comments
[5:17:57 AM] Winston Manuel: on the forums
[5:18:19 AM] Winston Manuel: I really dont appriciate how you made assumptions about me and how I changed
[5:18:26 AM] Winston Manuel: when you ignored me and didnt bother talking to me
[5:18:31 AM] Jae: oh honey they are not assumptions
[5:18:37 AM] Winston Manuel: what I did to momo
[5:18:45 AM] Jae: i didn't even know about that
[5:18:47 AM] Winston Manuel: you said I said his dps sucked and kicked him
[5:18:51 AM] Winston Manuel: you said that
[5:19:06 AM] Jae: actually i was talking about the guild in general when i said that
[5:19:15 AM] Jae: if you notice i said what has RS come to
[5:19:50 AM] Jae: something like "kicking people from raids or talking shit about how low their dps is"
[5:20:20 AM] Jae: instead of helping them
[5:20:39 AM] Winston Manuel: the thing is what your hearing is what people are saying what I did okay
[5:20:47 AM] Winston Manuel: your saying rs but all that shit comes back to me
[5:20:53 AM] Jae: yea but you confirmed it that night i talked to you
[5:20:54 AM] Winston Manuel: because I'm raid leading
[5:21:30 AM] Jae: and to see how, there was nothing wrong about what you did in your voice how you were so convinced that it's fine to treat people that way in game made me, think wow what happend to caedan.
[5:22:11 AM] Jae: i don't care... it's a damm fucking game.. this is why i quit. i don't give a fuck it's a raid w/e the excuse is
[5:22:48 AM] Jae: you can tell me all the reasons why but you know what it comes down to. is to treat people all equal all nice and be guilde like. like i said" no one cares unless it's affecting them"
[5:23:08 AM] Winston Manuel: if you didnt care you wouldent be talking to me or posting it in notes
[5:23:21 AM] Jae: i am only talking to you because i like you as a friend caedan
[5:23:30 AM] Jae: this has nothing to do with the game
[5:24:06 AM] Jae: i am not mad at you... i was just dissapointed with you. caedan you have been nothing but nice to me. you have helped me
[5:24:17 AM] Jae: you have done things for me you have listend to me talk about bull shit.
[5:24:47 AM] Jae: this has nothing to do with how you or others treated me it has to do with how you and others treated other guild members
[5:25:36 AM] Jae: i feel quilty about what happend to you how others are giving you shit
[5:26:22 AM] Jae: but then again that's what kind of person i am, it's like your my little in game brother i don't want anyone picking on you. that night dan went off on you i wanted to message him and say leave caedan alone.
[5:27:40 AM] Jae: is wow even fun for you anymore? why do you play it if all this is happening to you.
[5:28:03 AM] Winston Manuel: cause I have a responibilty to krae and the other people that I have raided with for so long
[5:28:13 AM] Jae: lol
[5:28:17 AM] Winston Manuel: I wanted to improve the guild that has helped me also
[5:28:31 AM] Winston Manuel: I did shit I dont like all the time
[5:28:32 AM] Jae: oh now your about the guild i thought you only cared about your self in the guild
[5:28:54 AM] Jae: i thought your only responsablity was your char
[5:28:56 AM] Winston Manuel: why the hell would I start to raidlead and have to deal with all the bullshit if I didnt think of the guild
[5:29:25 AM] Winston Manuel: I help groups
[5:29:48 AM] Winston Manuel: not individuals who dont really care enough about there chars to just do heroics with pugs
[5:30:21 AM] Jae: but you see i think you forget something about these people who don't really care so much about their chars something thaty ou fail to realize
[5:30:35 AM] Jae: that this game is only about having fun.. and that it is just a game.. and not to take it to seriously
[5:30:46 AM] Jae: you have no obligation to anyone in the guild when it comes to your real life.
[5:32:11 AM] Winston Manuel: okay jae I'm sorry the more I'm talking about this with you and you going over things again and again
[5:32:15 AM] Winston Manuel: its just getting me riled up
[5:32:36 AM] Winston Manuel: and you still have a condecending tone mixed into when your saying things that are trying to console me
[5:33:14 AM] Winston Manuel: we were friends once but I'm getting the feeling your part of the whole guild drama as a whole now
[5:33:34 AM] Winston Manuel: if not as a whole starting drama with me and billy before talking to us
[5:33:40 AM] Winston Manuel: friends dont ice friends out
[5:33:51 AM] Winston Manuel: tell me what problem you have and we talk it out
[5:33:55 AM] Winston Manuel: dont ignore me for weeks on end
[5:34:06 AM] Winston Manuel: then bring to attention how much I changed
[5:34:53 AM] Jae: you know i can't defend my self i acknowldedge i've added to your drama already in the guild and i've appologized
[5:35:21 AM] Jae: i am sorry if i seem condescending
[5:36:36 AM] Winston Manuel: I'm going to go play wow and work on my warrior
[5:36:39 AM] Winston Manuel: cya jae
[5:36:57 AM] Jae: do me one favor if anything at all
[5:37:10 AM] Winston Manuel: I'm sorry but dont ever bother whispering me if you do come back to the game
[5:37:18 AM] Jae: or i should say do this for self quit wow move to torento do something exciting quit this game that has consumed you
[5:37:55 AM] Jae: do something with your life to be proud of instead of this game that has no value in real life. go out there get the things you desrve as a person
[5:38:08 AM] Jae: find the person you deserve instead of these useless hookups i know you despise
[5:38:36 AM] Jae: if you put as much effort as you do to this game caedan i know you can accomplish a lot your a goal driven young man destined for greatness
[5:40:49 AM] Jae: and that's fine... caedan don't mean to be mean but your a just a person in an imaginary game who lost them selves to it. no loss here..but know i will always be here for you and i am not your fucking enemy!
[5:40:52 AM] Jae: good night
